Recently in Humor Category

This video is hilarious!  Probably not suitable for work if the audio is on.

glumbert.com | Sexual Consent

This might get the award for best article title too.

The Seattle Times: Nation & World: He was naked, on crack and in alligator's mouth

"A gator's got me," Apgar replied, his voice faint in the background.

Mayid's call shortly after 4 a.m. sent four Polk County, Fla., deputies racing to the 2,150-acre lake just outside Lakeland, Fla., where they jumped into the water and wrenched Apgar's arm from the gator's mouth. The 45-year-old victim, who told authorities he'd passed out nude on the shore after smoking crack cocaine, was rushed to a hospital in critical condition.

Later Wednesday, state wildlife authorities trapped and killed a nearly 12-foot-long alligator thought to be the one that attacked Apgar.
.....
Sheriff's officials have said Apgar, 45, suffered a broken right arm.
His left arm was nearly severed, and he had bites to his buttocks and
leg. He underwent surgery Wednesday afternoon at Lakeland Regional
Medical Center

This was the most troubling one:

Airport Security Oversights | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Sept. 3, London to New York: A few Muslim people may have slipped through with their dignity

U.S. Cryptographers: 'FrpX-K5jE-Oc4n-e5Dn' | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

WASHINGTON, DC—In a carefully phrased, 128-bit encoded announcement that has challenged U.S. security agency procedures, top officials of the National Cryptography and Information Security Council warned that "FrpX-K5jE-Oc4n-e5Dn" if "Ha4d-87gH-uiH3-gB5r-g8Bh" late Monday.

YouTube - White & Nerdy

This is hilarious.

And for other Halo fans (and lovers of the original skit from Monty Python) is this mashup:

YouTube - Monty Python Halo

Hat tip to my friend Kris who discovered this. I captured it for posterity:

In-Accu-Weather

Ananova - Safety test burns club to ground

A strip club owner burned his club to the ground while trying to prove it was fire-proof to health and safety inspectors.

the cool hunter - DRIVE THROUGH LUBRICATION AD

We need more creativity like this in the world.

CNN.com - Man glued to toilet may have history - Nov 8, 2005

CNN.com - 'Ugly dog' Sam dies at 14 - Nov 22, 2005

Was Ugly Dog a real-life Gremlin?

I don't know about you, but I'd have a difficult time going #1 into one of these. Too reminiscient of Rolling Stones / Mick Jagger...

BTW, I had to rewrite to avoid at least four thematic unintentional puns. I guess Freud's theories may still be alive and well after all.

UniqueDaily.com - The Wackiest World Records You Will Ever See

Oh, and just to throw this in since it's somewhat related: George W. Bush gets my vote for Worst President...Ever. He's wacky.

I laughed so hard at these mistranslations found on menus in China.

One of my favorites:

"Benumbed hot vegetables fries fuck silk"

Read the comments for a good explanation of how this malicious literal translation gives rise to such humorous groupings of words. I guess you may be able to place an order even with these being so muddled, but I'd stay away from the "sour and sweet bone" and "cowboy meat". But I hear the "Assorted Fuck" is a real delicacy!

May I take your order?

engrish:

ALISO VIEJO, Calif. - City officials were so concerned about the potentially dangerous properties of dihydrogen monoxide that they considered banning foam cups after they learned the chemical was used in their production.

Then they learned, to their chagrin, that dihydrogen monoxide — H2O for short — is the scientific term for water.

The "Comma Sutra"

via Scrutiny Hooligans

Which reminds me of a related amusing and geeky version:

Linux Sex Positions - The Open Source Kama Sutra

They even have a security-related one: "Position 12 - Piercing the Firewall"

Daily Kos: Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY!

Last weekend we picked up three of Jack Handy's Deep Thoughts books. While he avoids the political (after all, the thoughts are deep), we found some striking parallels to certain people and issues of the day...

Family Guy - Clips from DVD-movie

Ohhhhh Riiiight.

Here are some fun clips from Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story which comes out today!

Star Wars Gangsta Rap

The funniest part I think are the stormtroopers. What a bunch of nancies...

You can't make up better sh*t than this. Unbelievable.

Unfortunately, a "theory" must be "either originating from observable facts or supported by them."

Idaho weatherman quits, says he wants to pursue hurricane theory

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

IDAHO FALLS, Idaho -- A Pocatello weatherman who gained attention for an unusual theory that Hurricane Katrina was caused by the Japanese mafia using a Russian electromagnetic generator has quit the television station.

First out of the gate:

Fedex sued a loyal customer for posting photos of furniture he made for himself out of Fedex boxes on the web. Get this, they used many...er...novel...legal arguments to try to scare him. Welcome to the doghouse FedEx. You've got great company, such as Cisco and Oracle.

Some highlights:

• They tried to use the DMCA in their claims. But were complaining about trademark issues. Copyright law does not cover trademarks. Next!
• They tried to make some claim that he was violating the terms of service of fedex.com in his use of the boxes.
• They tried to claim that he was obviously posting the photos for personal financial gain. Get this--because he posted them to a .com website instead of a .net. Good thing I'm on a .net so they can't sue me!

Furniture Causes FedEx Fits

Also in the WTF files. A Doonesbury strip was recently pulled for using a real, albeit crude, nickname for Karl Rove. The papers claimed it was "in bad taste".

Some pull 'Doonesbury' over Rove moniker

The strip itself:
http://www.doonesbury.com/strip/dailydose/index.html?uc_full_date=20050726

Next on the list. Jason Coombs had a great rant on Bugtraq about computer forensics professionals who are testifying against defendants who may well have a legitimate defense -- the "the trojan ate my homework" defense. He takes issue with claims that a forensics investigation could reasonably ascertain whether a past action was performed by a human or a trojan horse or other malware:

The fact that malware authors aren't cooperating with the computer forensics industry by making sure that it's easy to distinguish between the actions of malware and the actions of a human computer user, combined with uninformed expert opinions like those shown below, is resulting in innocent people being put behind bars, and people like Marcus Lawson who think they know what they're doing but clearly do not are helping to get innocent people convicted by spewing nonsense. This undermines the ability of the criminal court system to convict those who are truly guilty, and keep them convicted on appeal.

And finally, How many laws do you have to break to get fired in the Department of Homeland Security? Since this ran, we now know that the DHS has now deleted the data that they illegally obtained from data miners. So now, americans have no way of knowing if the TSA had used data about them illegally. A group from Alaska is suing the government now.

Gotta love brit humor! This is great tongue-in-cheek commentary at its best.

The background: News.com UK published details about Google's CEO using public information found on...Google (aka Google hacking). Google wasn't happy about this, so they banned Google employees from speaking to News.com reporters for a year. Absurd!

But, fortunately, ZDNet UK has apologized for the whole matter, although it is covered with loads o' sweet syrupy sarcasm.

ZDNET.UK's "apology" to Google

Clearly, there is no place in modern reporting for this kind of unregulated, unprotected access to readily available facts, let alone in capriciously using them to illustrate areas of concern. We apologise unreservedly, and will cooperate fully in helping Google change people's perceptions of its role just as soon as it feels capable of communicating to us how it wishes that role to be seen.

Sheeple

Irritainment

Adminisphere

To go along with other new entries in the Oxford English Dictionary

You can have lots of fun at Unwords

Best quote:

"Whenever someone thinks that they can replace SSL/SSH with something
much better that they designed this morning over coffee, their computer
speakers should generate some sort of penis-shaped sound wave and plunge it repeatedly into their skulls until they achieve enlightenment."

-- Peter Gutman, http://mail-archive.com/cryptography@metzdowd.com/msg00891.html

The rest of the post is great as well, with a "sound" warning about the CIPE VPN.

rtfm.6o4.ca - Read The F***ing Manual Reference Library

If you go directly to this link, you will be presented with a hilarious error message, complete with apropos image. I got a kick out of this.

This is priceless. Click on the link and look at the pictures where someone mingled with the crowd, holding a sign saying "We are idiots" for the media to see.

kill_terri: Fun at the expense of nutbag Christians

Just hilarious if this suspect was truly the robber.

"A California man who got away after allegedly sticking up an Aurora Avenue North video store a couple of weeks ago apparently couldn't leave well enough alone."

The Seattle Times: Local News: Robbery suspect nabbed during return visit to store